Friday, February 22, 2013

On birthdays and being one year older

These people walking in the rain Times Square earlier this week reminded me of ghosts moving quickly. 

A friend who I've known since I was fourteen years old was in town visiting this week.  It's that kind of friendship where you know each other for so long that it doesn't matter how much time passes, even if your lives are totally different and some of your points of view are too, you can relate to each other.  I know him from another life that seems at once so distant yet so recent, and always relevant to my past and my present.  You know how you're the same person but you're someone else completely?  That.  With another birthday come and gone I find myself thinking about the past not in a longing way but in a "I can't believe it's been that long since...." way.  It's never about the numbers for me since after all it really is about how you feel inside (something I ironically finally learned only with age), but rather about the passage of time and how quickly it seems to slip through my fingers.

I think about it all the time.  How I wish I had more time.  How I can't wrap my head around how quickly it goes.  Last summer when my grandfather passed away I really felt it.  I watched and listened as my mom and her siblings talked about their childhood - stories and anecdotes that would probably only come up in the situation that we were all living.  It seemed to me like their memories were so fresh and so recent.  I had the sense that to them it seemed like yesterday that they were just kids under their mom and dad's care yet there they were grown adults with families and legacies of their own.  I think about my own childhood, adolescence, early 20s and now early 30s -- the memories that shaped me, the people in my life and how they impacted me.  And, then it's another year, and another one after that.  I look at my daughter and to me she was born just yesterday except now she's telling me about her day and asking me to cuddle with her while she "reads" me a story or sings me a song.  Soon she will be a big sister and how amazing will that be for all of us?  I want to remember all these moments and I know that soon she will be at an age where she can remember them for herself.

On the other side of it, I think maybe I should stop obsessing about how time passes us by and start to really relish the moments that I'm living when I'm living them.  Not that I don't already do that but the anxiety about how fast it goes hits me a little hard sometimes.  That's just one of the lessons I've learned from love, friendship, family and all these great years.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.  I wasn't planning on being MIA this week but I'll be back to regular posting on Monday.  Until then, here are some links from around the web.

Speaking about the passing of time, a story about my family in Argentina from the archives.

My version of the Superbowl is this weekend...the Oscars!  Who are you hoping will win?  And more importantly, what will they be wearing?!

Defunct photography websites made great.  Does this mean I should be updating mine?

Ultimate guide to Vine.

Adorable pups doing their thing.

Daily dishonesty.  Love these posters!

I never knew slowly popping bubbles could be so pretty.

I love this high chair.  I think my son needs one even though we already have two.

I've got the February blues and would love to warm up here

It's a camera. No wait, it's a donut.

Project Amelia: A 28 year old photographer is diagnosed with cancer.

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