Tuesday, September 11, 2012

11 Years


Yesterday was such a beautiful day and the perfect morning to start a new school year and a new experience for my girl. There was a soft end of summer wind and the sun was shining so brightly that you could see it sparkling on the sides of buildings and making lovely shadows on the sidewalks. Her first day was a success for our family and I was able to drop her off and head back home for a few hours before it was time to pick her up again.  My heart was swelling with pride but also aching as I was feeling nostalgic and wondering how two years of our lives have flown by so quickly.  Lost in my thoughts, I turned a corner and the sound of bagpipes was carried with the warm air and seemed to be traveling down the street.  I immediately recognized why they were there and suddenly the pit that had been steadily growing in my belly for the last few days got bigger.  With another 9/11 anniversary upon us, they were there to practice for today's remembrance ceremony.

Yesterday was such a beautiful day and in one second I started crying to myself, wiping tears from behind my sunglasses thinking of all the people who woke up on that fateful day feeling happy that it was their kid's first day of school, that the sun was shining, that the breeze was lovely, that a new season was upon us or for whatever reason.  I will obviously never forget that Tuesday morning or how it unfolded for me, my boyfriend who is now my husband, my dear friend who we lost that day, the thousands of other people who were lost and their family and friends, and for all the people around the world who watched what was happening.  I carry those memories with me every day.  After 11 years, I'm still working on it and it's not that I'm numb to it and it certainly isn't that I've forgotten (an impossibility), but life has moved in the direction of wanting to celebrate something wonderful and respecting and acknowledging the past instead of constantly living in it.  Living downtown I regularly walk by the new building and with each month that passes and she grows taller I feel more pride for what's been growing in downtown Manhattan and the resilience of the people who live in our city (and those who don't) and the memory that we all work to preserve every single day. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day and I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be too.  Like all other days today I'm going to remember in my heart and in my mind, hug my baby tight, tell my husband I love him and our little family more than anything, call my parents and other loved ones, and remind myself how lucky I am.

PS -- If you'd like, you can read past posts here and here

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