Tuesday, June 05, 2012

When I need a confidence boost

Copyright Monica L. Shulman

Every once in a while I fall into a frustrating spiral of sorts where I second-guess what I'm doing and wonder whether I'm talented or creative enough.  I talk about feeling proud of my accomplishments and most importantly never comparing myself to anyone but then that's all I do.  It's so easy to feel small and unoriginal living in New York and when you spend so much time online influenced by amazing blogs and Pinterest.  So since I tend to find myself in this emotionally unhealthy predicament more often than I care to admit, I've come to perfect my methods of boosting my own confidence.  It's not a science but I'm actually starting to take my own advice and it helps!

1.  Be more assertive

Think about the people who inspire you and who you admire.  In your mind's eye are they slouched and looking down or leaning against a wall for support?  Body language is so important and you can project your confidence, even when you're not feeling particularly so, by simply standing up straight and looking someone in the eye.  These are characteristics of a person who is present and interested but most importantly, empowered.  If you're like me and spend most of your time working online, then try to project this assertiveness with every email or phone call you exchange.  It will make a difference.  

2.  Call for reinforcements

Whenever I'm feeling insecure I have my small network of family and friends who I turn to.  Sometimes we need to vent and ask others to remind us why we are special and why we are successful.  I'm not talking about calling your friends to whine (I'm an expert on that) but I strongly believe that relying on people you trust to help can only make you stronger and more confident. 

3.  Stop being so sensitive to failure

This is the hardest for me since I'm extremely sensitive in pretty much all aspects of my life so I have to work really hard at reminding myself to stop giving the idea of failure so much strength.  Every time I have a perceived failure I'm only taking time away from trying to be better.  I remind myself that even the most successful people got rejection letters or doors closed in their faces - it's a fact of life that sometimes things just don't work out the way you planned and that's okay.

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